Stick To The Script

I had to wait until I could form a sentence before I came back here.  Let me know if I’ve returned too soon.                                                                                                                                                                    The good thing about picking up extra work is the bills are piling up, and by that I mean dollar bills baby.  Not a lot, but a couple extra - like, for example, I can eat this week.  Ok, I’m stretching a bit.  I admit.  Every night I stack the dollar bills on top of the previous night’s bills and keep adding to the pile.  The problem is, now I’m looking at that stack of bills thinking - I could use that to buy new furniture.  Wahoo!  Alrighty then!   

That’s bad right?

No?  

I played it out in my head how I could explain why I have no presents for anyone but my apartment suddenly went from shabby to chic and I‘m sporting a brandy new outfit.  I could say the Salvation Army Furniture Department decided to donate to ME for once, or the obvious, “I WON THE LOTTERY!   But, they said I could only use it for furniture". 

No?


I wonder if people would be insulted if I told them I decided to give to myself this year, apologized, and then shrugged my shoulders.  

No, I better not do that.  It’ll come back to haunt me on some special occasion like my birthday.  I can just imagine people showing up empty-handed at my little celebration.   In true passive-aggressive form they'd form a circle around me and tell me they decided to buy gifts for themselves this year in honor of my birthday, and then they'd all shrug their shoulders at the same time.

I better stick to the script.

The other night I walked into the restaurant where I play humble servant and my one foot got wet right through my shoe.  I checked the underside and do you know I’ve worn a hole in it already?  These high-quality shoes have gotten a hole in the sole in under a year.  Now that’s too much damn waitressing if you ask me.