Get Lost

On Saturday I woke up with this wonderful calm feeling. The kind of feeling that, although nothing spectacular had happened, I felt serene.

I decided to go out into the country to explore and have lunch. My criteria for finding the country means finding one-lane roads and any one-lane road should take me to the country, right? I guess everyone was looking for the country because there was a ton of traffic, so I meandered around finding little roads to check out and kept my eye open for some great “mom and pop” types of places to eat lunch.

I found this great little Mexican restaurant with lots of charm and got a great window seat at a small table. The young waiter took my order and I sat there with a magazine, looking around at the walls that were lined from floor to ceiling with bottles of hot sauce from around the world. I imagined all the dusting that took but found it quite impressive.

I felt very peaceful and comfortable and the food that had just arrived was really good. Homemade salsa and tortilla chips, chicken enchiladas and fresh steamed vegetables with a glass of lemonade. I was in my little happy place doing my little happy dance in my head and all was right with the world, until suddenly, my throat dried up, I couldn’t breath in because my throat would dry up even more and tears began streaming down my face. I must’ve been making coughing/gagging noises because the people around me were all staring.

The waiter asked from across the room if I was ok but I couldn't speak. It was all I could do to grab my purse before dashing off to the rest rooms and motioning to the waiter where I was heading. Once inside I let loose all the noise I'd tried to contain at my table and like a drug addict looking for their next hit, I frantically rummaged through my purse looking for candy.

Yeah, candy, tough guy.

This had happened a couple of times before where the back of my throat instantly dries up, leaving me gagging and wet-faced from the tears that gush out. It seems to be random and not due to anything pet related or outdoor related. Now that I think about it, it’s always happened indoors and I’ve found that candy makes it stop immediately. And sometimes once the candy is gone, it comes back immediately. The reaction looks the same as someone who swallowed the wrong way and got something stuck in their windpipe.

I was in there at least 15 minutes trying to compose myself and knowing the wait staff was praying they weren’t going to have to call the Police or an ambulance or the coroner. I actually felt bad I couldn’t tell them that I was ok but I suppose they could hearing me barking and howling away in there.

This is where it can be slightly awkward being out alone, but I pulled it together and bravely returned to my seat trying not to look like the lunatic that ran in there. I looked at my food with sadness. No appetite left in my little happy-serene-world. The waiter very politely, and almost apologetically, packed up my food including the tortillas and salsa. I tipped him almost 40% and scurried my behind out of there.

The sorry part is, I don’t know the name of the restaurant or how I got there or even what town it was in. I was hoping to return as a normal person. Almost to prove that I don't have to have all the attention all the time. The scene stealer, the dinner-and-a-show type person with me being the main character. Sorry Mr. Waiter.

Maybe I’ll try to get lost again sometime. Me and my bad-ass candy.