The Regift

I was the innocent victim of a regift today and I'm debating how to get the person back. I plan to come up with the most bizarre gift for this person next year and maybe it'll have something to do with what they gave me so they will be just as confused as I was. Or maybe it'll be the EXACT gift they gave me. I can't wait to see their face.

You know you've been "regifted" (yes, that's proper english on Micki Michelle) when the gift has absolutely nothing to do with you, your interests, the hood, laundrymats, blue balls, how you feel about thongs or anything else in your past, present or future life. Even in reincarnation you'd never have an interest in this and neither does the giver. And that's how they avoid clutter.

You know that show on HGTV where people have too much clutter and this team comes in, clears out their house and they make piles on the lawn? They have piles for stuff to keep, sell, give away and trash. They should include a pile called "Regifts" and start a movement. We'll make it cool, call it being "Green" and non-conforming to commercialism. It's perfect timing with the economy in flux. I think I could sell it to the network. Stay posted.

Everyone knows the basic regifting rules; choose the victim carefully, wait until they have the holidays blues so they'll appreciate anything, make up a sappy story about how the gift reminds you of them and how great they are and hope for the best. If you can find anything that remotely connects the dots as to why you're giving them this you've got a shot. Otherwise, it'll be regifted again.

I'm considering what to get my regifter, who knows me well, next year. It'll be something very special. Maybe I'll give the exact gift back with a serious face and a sappy story and hope for the best. Option two, is to give something related to the bizarre regift and gauge the reaction. I'm considering my options but I assure you, I'll make it good.

Merry Christmas! I can't wait till next year.