Exotic Kabobs
I now realize why I had that dream about getting a washer and dryer in my apartment.
It was because I had to take SIXTEEN EXTRA-LARGE HEFTY SUPERSIZED BAGS FULL OF EVERY PIECE OF LINEN, TOWEL, AND RUG I OWN INTO THE LAUNDRY MAT AFTER THE GREAT FLEA EPIDEMIC DEBACLE IS WHY.
And why I didn’t remember that until this morning is beyond me.
It cost me eleventy-nine-bazillion dollars for the luxury of carting all of my materially owned possessions down the street to drown THE BASTARDS in the washer and then bake them in the dryer. And I smiled a delicious evil smile the entire time - except they got one last chuckle because the eleventy-nine bazillion dollars I used to seek and destroy my blood sucking friends should’ve gone to nourish my own self.
In hindsight I should’ve skewered them on tiny little pins and served them as miniscule kabobs at a tea party and called it something exotic.
Every black spec I see, now gets analyzed scrupulously. And the cat and I sit for hours, spreading hair and fur apart - grooming one another like chimpanzees on the sofa.
I am armed with a microscope, telescope, binoculars and extra sensory hearing so I can hear the little chatter - the laughter and the pointing as if to say, “Catch me if you can!“, if these critters ever decide to show up again and chew my cat’s flesh apart.
GAME ON. And I assure you - I will win.
It was because I had to take SIXTEEN EXTRA-LARGE HEFTY SUPERSIZED BAGS FULL OF EVERY PIECE OF LINEN, TOWEL, AND RUG I OWN INTO THE LAUNDRY MAT AFTER THE GREAT FLEA EPIDEMIC DEBACLE IS WHY.
And why I didn’t remember that until this morning is beyond me.
It cost me eleventy-nine-bazillion dollars for the luxury of carting all of my materially owned possessions down the street to drown THE BASTARDS in the washer and then bake them in the dryer. And I smiled a delicious evil smile the entire time - except they got one last chuckle because the eleventy-nine bazillion dollars I used to seek and destroy my blood sucking friends should’ve gone to nourish my own self.
In hindsight I should’ve skewered them on tiny little pins and served them as miniscule kabobs at a tea party and called it something exotic.
Every black spec I see, now gets analyzed scrupulously. And the cat and I sit for hours, spreading hair and fur apart - grooming one another like chimpanzees on the sofa.
I am armed with a microscope, telescope, binoculars and extra sensory hearing so I can hear the little chatter - the laughter and the pointing as if to say, “Catch me if you can!“, if these critters ever decide to show up again and chew my cat’s flesh apart.
GAME ON. And I assure you - I will win.
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