“What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”

Day 15, and starting to feel slightly better, in case you’re interested. Just the fact that it’s a slight improvement in the right direction gives me hope, and it’s all about Hope right? I didn’t mean to get into politics today, but do you really think “hope” is a word that should’ve been used in the campaign? It’s like people saying, “I’ll try.” You don’t “try”, you “do”. It shows weakness and uncertainty. Anyway…

I had the weirdest thing happen the other day. While I was working, that cat o’ mine climbed up on the table where I had all my fabrics laid out and I didn’t want her cat hair and claws on the white fabric so I scooped her up, under the arm of my free hand to put her back on the floor, when, without warning, she swatted at me and caught my ear.

When I went to move her paw away, I realized her nail was stuck half-way up on the fleshy part of my ear.

The cat doesn’t have my tongue, she’s got my ear! AHHH!

I dropped what was in my other hand and grabbed her paw before she could start tugging and felt that split of consciousness where one part wanted to freak out, and the other knew it had to take care of the problem and stay focused.

I tried sliding the curled nail out but it wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t set her down for fear she’d actually rip my ear. Remarkably, she stayed calm and didn’t pull. I think she was in shock just as I was. I don’t know how, but after several tries I was able to get her nail out and thought about how gross it was, knowing her paws are used in her litter box and what could now be in my ear. GROSS.

I went into the bathroom and started crying because as stated before, I’ve been reduced to a four-year-old being sick for two weeks, and because it upsets me when you lovingly take care of an animal and it lashes out at you. Damn cat. I cleaned the wound and did everything you’re supposed to do. I thought for sure the nail had gone completely through, but it appears it went half-way in and locked on.

Afterwards, she came back in the room and we looked at each other like, holy shit, what just happened? We were both a little stunned. I don’t know why she did that. Maybe she had an upset stomach and I agitated it. Who knows. All I know is she’s grounded—for life, and will not be allowed to date until she’s 30.