Deliver Me from Evil
I’m walking along on my usual trails today and what do I see?
“Ewwww. Gross!”
I stopped dead in my tracks, thankfully about four feet in front of it. I just stood there thinking seeing this five-foot-something person standing in front of it would, ya know, scare it?
Ahhh, no.
So I pick up a stick and ever-so-gently (ahem) throw it at it. Does it move?
Ah, no.
So I get another stick and throw it and, well, you guessed it. It didn’t move. I’m thinking I should just walk by it. What’s it going to do? Strangle me? All 16 inches of it? Bite me? Maybe. I don’t know what these things do. It’s probably “just” a gardener thing but maybe it’s a baby python. What do I know?
Finally, after the stand-down, which I think I lost, it slithered off the path and into the weeds with a victorious smirk on its face. Bastard. I can’t even call it by its name because, Ewwww. I hate these things. The fact that I’m even putting pictures here makes me queezy. I intentionally made the pictures small and may even take them down at some point. I conjured up names to call it like Fred or Albert but I settled on Slimey.
I’ve tried to desensitize myself to Slimy’s in the past but it was a bad experience. I have a girlfriend who used to keep these things as pets and one day I asked her if she’d help me get over my fear so she took Slimey out and had me touch it on its back, away from the head. She then let it slither around on the floor, totally freaking me out as she laughed until it found a new home in my purse! I should’ve known better than to ask this “friend” to help out as I later recalled our childhood days when she dumped a bucket of worms on my head as I laid out on the warm sidewalk after swimming in her pool. Nice.
So Slimey went his way and I continued down the path freaked out by every stick or any movement in the weeds and convinced myself he might follow me just for kicks. I did one lap around this circular path and started back down to where I saw Slimey and there was another one further up the trail! I suspect it was his evil twin messing with me. I didn’t even try to scare it. They may get together with all their friends and come up with a plan to surround me next time I‘m there. What will I do then? I turned around in defeat, head down and trying convince myself to go and face the evil. But I didn’t. I had a few pictures and a story to tell.
“Ewwww. Gross!”
I stopped dead in my tracks, thankfully about four feet in front of it. I just stood there thinking seeing this five-foot-something person standing in front of it would, ya know, scare it?
Ahhh, no.
So I pick up a stick and ever-so-gently (ahem) throw it at it. Does it move?
Ah, no.
So I get another stick and throw it and, well, you guessed it. It didn’t move. I’m thinking I should just walk by it. What’s it going to do? Strangle me? All 16 inches of it? Bite me? Maybe. I don’t know what these things do. It’s probably “just” a gardener thing but maybe it’s a baby python. What do I know?
Finally, after the stand-down, which I think I lost, it slithered off the path and into the weeds with a victorious smirk on its face. Bastard. I can’t even call it by its name because, Ewwww. I hate these things. The fact that I’m even putting pictures here makes me queezy. I intentionally made the pictures small and may even take them down at some point. I conjured up names to call it like Fred or Albert but I settled on Slimey.
I’ve tried to desensitize myself to Slimy’s in the past but it was a bad experience. I have a girlfriend who used to keep these things as pets and one day I asked her if she’d help me get over my fear so she took Slimey out and had me touch it on its back, away from the head. She then let it slither around on the floor, totally freaking me out as she laughed until it found a new home in my purse! I should’ve known better than to ask this “friend” to help out as I later recalled our childhood days when she dumped a bucket of worms on my head as I laid out on the warm sidewalk after swimming in her pool. Nice.
So Slimey went his way and I continued down the path freaked out by every stick or any movement in the weeds and convinced myself he might follow me just for kicks. I did one lap around this circular path and started back down to where I saw Slimey and there was another one further up the trail! I suspect it was his evil twin messing with me. I didn’t even try to scare it. They may get together with all their friends and come up with a plan to surround me next time I‘m there. What will I do then? I turned around in defeat, head down and trying convince myself to go and face the evil. But I didn’t. I had a few pictures and a story to tell.
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